It has to be said that becoming a mum has been one of the most life-altering chapters of my life thus far. I’m a workaholic and proud of it. I’m doing something I love and so the hours I work, what might seem a lot to some, doesn’t actually feel that much to me.
Before having my Sonny – who by the way is now nearly 11 months old – I would work every hour of every day where I could. That involved working evenings and weekends when I wasn’t in my full-time job, going self-employed just before the pandemic, and sometimes working through the night to bring in the income.
I found it hard to let go of work during maternity leave
Being self-employed means there’s a whole mind game of balancing the work and your free time. Becoming a mum has definitely forced me to relax a little more and to switch off where possible. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to lose that workaholic attitude in me, but I’ve probably embraced a healthier attitude toward work and knowing where to avoid burnout.
My maternity leave was certainly not like the standard maternity leave here in the UK. I definitely did some work over the course of my maternity leave and that was because if I didn’t, I’d lose all my clients. These are clients I’ve spent years working for and therefore losing them would mean starting from the beginning, with an extra mouth to feed and a big mortgage to pay.
I’m one of few parents now where I’m fortunate to not need to put my baby into nursery. As long as I can continue to adapt and evolve my working schedule as Sonny grows, I can ideally keep him out of nursery until sometime near the end of next year, just before he turns two. I will of course. continue to do baby classes and whatnot to give him that exposure to other children. I still want to provide him with as much of it as possible, while still enjoying the luxury of being able to work from home and have him with me.
My baby has taught me to slow down in both personal and work life
One of the best things about Sonny is that he’s teaching me a lot about life that you’d think I’d know about 30+ years on this planet. The most important is that sometimes, you just need to slow down. Before you know it, your life has flashed before you and while you feel as though it was only yesterday that you were partying your socks off at university, you’re now a parent and you have all these financial responsibilities.
Slowing down is something that I really needed to do because I grafted so much during my 20s. I found direction in my writing and turned my little digital space on the web, into a full-time career where it was all my money and business. I am my own boss and I will never not appreciate that luxury that I have.
However, like I said, it comes with a lot of guilt, especially when I’m not working. My aim for 2025 is to take 25 days of annual leave off per year. The reality for me is that I rarely take off more than a week at a time and my maternity leave was the first time in years since I’ve taken more than two weeks off work.
It’s all about finding the balance and knowing life right now is very fluid
The balance between work and family is hard. I’m already finding it hard with one child under the age of 1, so what’s it going to be like with two or three children under the age of 5?
What I’ve come to accept recently is that my work life right now is very fluid. It’s going to be like that until at least all my kids are in nursery or primary school. For the foreseeable future, my work with revolve around family life and that will most of the time mean I’m working evenings.
But I’m ok with that. Freelancing and being self-employed are never fluid. It’s what makes it both exciting and terrifying at the same time. I’ve been self-employed as a freelance writer for over five years now. For me, that validates that I’m going to be ok.
What do you think about working after having a baby? Let me know in the comments below.
